May the Schwartz be with you!

The Schwartz HIgh Yearbook

2007-05-29T20:28:12Z

Hey, Taylor here.

In order for me to actually graduate, I had to join an extracurricular, so I decided to join the Yearbook Club...or whatever it's called. Anyway, here it is!

(NOTE: There's a lot of Justin...after all, Taylor is the one who put the yearbook together. There is also A LOT of Jared and Jensen pictures, mostly because pictures of other people with other characters took too long to find, damnit)

Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles hosting the annual Schwartz High Awards Banquet

Scott Moffatt and one of his brothers jet skiing.

Justin Timberlake, John Mayer, and Avril Lavigne converse between classes

Jigga Dave between classes.

Elijah Wood, Taylor Hanson, and Zac Hanson at the Schwartz High awards banquet

Hayden Panettiere and Hiro Nakamura present Drake Bell with the Student Choice Award for "Biggest Daredevil of the Year"

Dominic Monaghan, Elijah Wood, and Orlando Bloom hanging out

Scott's reaction to finding Dan and Orli making out in the gym.

Hayden and Paris Hilton on their way to the Bronze

Best Friends Forever! Chad Michael Murray and Jared Padalecki

Zac Hanson happily serving drinks at the Bronze

Justin Timberlake and Usher Raymond at a Lakers game

Scott enjoying lunch and his 'Less Than Jake' shirt.

Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton relaxing at the Winter Formal

Jared Padalecki dances at the Bronze while Jensen Ackles pretends to not know his friend

Zac Hanson enjoys some pizza after dancing at the Bronze

Scott and his adorable puppy, Moffie (or possibly Jude).

Justin Timberlake and his famous slamdunk

Jake Gyllenhaal and Elijah Wood between hallucinations (well in Jake's case, anyway)

Tom Welling and Jared Padalecki fight in the quad while Hilary Duff strangely decides to intervene

Scott Moffatt after his last class of the day.

Taylor Hanson attempts to multi-task on the way to class

Usher Raymond and Paris Hilton at Prom

Zac Hanson and date at Prom

Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears

Nick Carter on his first date with Paris Hilton without his mommy

Jared, Tom Welling, Mr. Rosenbaum's date, Mr. Rosenbaum, and Jensen Ackles at the Advanced Psychology Christmas Banquet

Chad Michael Murray, Paris Hilton, and Jared Padalecki

Taylor Hanson makes his way to class

Jensen Ackles having a panic attack on the flight to Paris, France while Jared Padalecki attempts to assure him the plane won't explode

Scott smoking between classes.

STUDENT/FACULTY RELATIONS (but not like that...we hope)

Mr. Rosenbaum and favorite student, Jensen Ackles

Secretary Elton and Justin Timberlake

Elijah Wood and Mr. McKellen celebrating his retirement

Elijah Wood and Mr. Rosenbaum at the Annual Schwartz High Star Wars Festival

CELEBRITY ENCOUNTERS

Jensen Ackles and Ludacris

Justin Timberlake with Barbara Walters

Elijah Wood and Dominic Monaghan with David Bowie backstage after his concert in Los Angeles

Drake Bell with Will Smith

Elijah Wood getting style tips from Carson Kressley

Dominic Monaghan and Orlando Bloom meeting Jackie Chan

Taylor and Zac Hanson hanging out with Ben Jelen

Drake Bell with Andre 3000

Block 3: Choir

2007-03-29T03:21:04Z

Hey there everybody! This is KC and I'm here with an update. Normally staff would be doing this, but I had a lot of detention time to make up so alas, I'm here. Anyway...sorry we've been dead for so long. It sucks, I know. But the good news is we're back! And we hope to have a new look very soon, which is mucho needed. Also, here are some links for now of our main characters journals (they're on GJ right now, but we hope to switch them over soon). Feel free to ask our stars any question you choose!

Scott Moffatt: http://www.greatestjournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=sx_moffatt
Taylor Hanson: http://www.greatestjournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=tayhanson691
KC McEvoy: http://www.greatestjournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=kc_loves_tay
Orlando Bloom: http://www.greatestjournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=orli_loves_dan
Daniel Johns: http://www.greatestjournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=sirdanieljohns
Veronica "Fred" McEvoy: http://www.greatestjournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=fredonica

Anyway, here's the next chapter (remember, this is still day one!):

Block III: Choir
This chapter was written by Casey.

"Good morning. I mean, good afternoon. Um, how about good day?" Mr. Littrell chuckled nervously. Everybody looked to each other in disbelief. "Anyway, welcome to choir. Everyone ready to use their god-given talents to the fullest? God is great, isn't he? I love him, don't you?" Mr. Littrell rambled on. Kc turned to Taylor with worry.

"Were fucked dude. A jesus freak will never pass us. What are we going to do?" Veronica turned to the both of them.

"If you guys just be quiet and work, you'll have a chance." she suggested. The two of them looked over at Orlando and Dan. Dan frowned.

"I don't think that's possible. Fuck this shit man. At least I can sing. The rest of you are fucked." Dan mused.

"Thanks hon. But I really can sing good you guys." Orlando pleaded. The three of them started to laugh but quickly stopped when Mr. Littrell came up to them.

"I encourage laughter. I think it's great. And you guys are great. Laughter is God's gift. Don't you love him?" The four of them looked at him, shocked. Scott started laughing.

"Yeah, he's da bomb. God's da bomb!" Kc mocked. Everyone in the class started laughing except for Nick, who jumped up.

"She's got a bomb! Run!" Nick proceeded to run towards the door but Hayden tripped him. Nick stood up and walked back to his seat. Mr. Littrell started to pass out music sheets.

"I wrote this song myself. I'm very proud of it and I think all of you will find it super-duper cool." Scott groaned while rolling his eyes. The class balked at the title.

"Jesus is the coolest?!?" Taylor exclaimed. "What the hell?!?" As Taylor swore, Mr. Littrell dropped to the ground, out cold.

"Did you kill him?" Britney asked. Taylor was too shocked to answer. Kc grabbed his arm.

"Holy shit sweetie, what did you do? Did you drop him using Jedi mind powers?" Taylor rolled his eyes at her. Nick started screaming like a little girl when Mr. Littrell stood back up.

"AHH! It's a zombie! Mommy help me!" Christina and Justin both groaned in disgust and jumped up.

"He's peeing his pants damn it! That's so gross!" Christina yelped. Mr. Littrell dropped back to the floor. Nick started to cry.

"I went pee-pee. And Mr. Littrell died again." he cried. Nick then went to the board and wrote:

WE MISE U MR BRAIN LITRZATL LOVE CLESS

Mr. Littrell stood back up AGAIN and Nick threw himself to the ground pretending to be dead.

"I apologize class, but I pass out when I hear bad words, so please, for the lord's sake, don't say them." Everyone nodded while Scott stood up. "Yes Scott?"

"Fuck shit." Mr. Littrell hit the ground. Scott began laughing uncontrollably.

"Ugh Scott, you're such an asshole. That is so not hot." Paris whined. Scott flicked her off.

"Oh, Nick had another accident. And it's kind of stinky!" Orlando pointed out. The back of Nicks pants now had a large brown stain. Mr. Littrell attempted to stand back up. 'Ow, I think we need carpet in here.' he noted to himself.

"NICK SHIT HIS PANTS! KICK ASS!" Kc shouted.

"Not again..." Brian mumbled on the way down.

Update from the Secretary's Desk

2006-08-17T14:29:17Z

Hey.

I don't know how I got conned into doing this, but Secretary Marshall told me to update this damn thing. So, here's the news:

- The rest of Day One will be posted this week
- New layout coming
- This place will be revived and quite active very soon.

So that's it. Goodbye.

Mr. McLean

Block 2: La Clase de Espanol

2005-12-19T19:58:59Z

This chapter was written by Veronica. Enjoy!

"Bienvenidos a la clase de espanol. Me llamo Senorita Mebarak. Anles que empezemos, yo quiero que todos ustedes escogan nombres en espanol." the spanish teacher greeted. The class sat with confusion drawn on their faces, except for Veronica who already spoke fluent spanish but was taking the class anyway.

"SPEAK ENGLISH!" Scott yelled in response.

"This is Spanish class!" Ms. Mebarak shouted back at Scott.

"We have to learn Spanish first before we can understand it." Scott reasoned. Ms. Mebarak rolled her eyes.

"I'll pass out a list of Spanish names to help you guys choose names. However, you're not limited to this list." Ms. Mebarak picked up a stack of worksheets from her desk and passed them to a student.

KC scanned through the list of female names, not really finding any she liked. Then, one caught her attention. Kc turned to Orlando. "Dude! It has Margarita on here!" she exclaimed. Orlando chuckled.

After a few minutes, Ms. Mebarak sat at her desk, ready to write everyones spanish names down. "Alex?"

"Alejandrooo," Alex replied. Ms. Mebarak wrote his name down.

"Orlando?"

"Orlando," he shrugged.

"Nick?"

Nick looked up from the piece of paper. He was still sounding out: Alejandro. "What?" he asked.

"What is your name?" Ms. Mebarak asked flatly.

"Nick," he chimed. The class laughed. "Isn't my name Nick?"

"Pick a spanish name." Usher snapped, slowly so Nick would understand him.

"Ooh..." Nick realized.

"Dude, man, we'll pick you a name." Scott offered, stifling laughter. He turned to Dan and Kc, who were huddled together. Kc broke away and whispered into Scotts ear. Scott laughed, before whispering it to Nick.

"Burrito!" Nick beamed.

"Burrito?" Ms. Mebarak repeated, hoping he was joking.

"Yes please, extra cheese!" Nick chimed.

"Okay...Hayden?"

"Joaquin," he mumbled.

"Taylor?"

"Nacho!" Dan answered. "You know, Ignacio."

"Okay...Zac?"

"Paco."

"Uh, Daniel?"

"Jesus." he nodded, smirking.

"Yeah dude!" Kc agreed.

"Jesus...Kc?"

"Margarita."

"Why am I not surprised?" Ms. Mebarak mused. "Veronica...why are you here?"

"They weren't offering Spanish 3." Veronica shrugged.

"Alright...Bob?"

"Roberto."

"Clint?"

"Marcos."

"Dave?"

"Jiggo Dave-o!" Scott exclaimed for Dave. Dave smacked his own forehead.

"How about David Jiggo...it sounds more...Spanish." Ms. Mebarak compromised. The way things were going, she'd accept anything. "Scott?"

"El Scotto." he grinned. Dan, Orlando, Kc, and Taylor high-fived Scott. Ms. Mebarak shook her head.

"Alright, lo que seya. Kodee?"

"Vincente Valentin."

"That's a guys name, estupido." Kc remarked. "Wait, is that like some anime character?"

"Uh-huh." Kodee nodded.

"Dominic?"

"Dominic."

"Don't venture too far there, Dom. Oh well, at least it's enchilada..." Ms. Mebarak sighed.

"Yum!" Nick commented.

"Oh Jesus..."

"What?" Dan asked.

"NOTHING!" Ms. Mebarak shouted. "USHER?"

"Antonio." he replied, scared. Ms. Mebarak sighed in relief.

"Britney?"

"Juanita."

Ms. Mebarak smiled. "Justin?"

"Juan." Everyone groaned and rolled their eyes.

"Elijah?"

"Enrique."

"Bueno clase." Ms. Mebarak responded, closing her gradebook. "Ahora, vamos apaender como se dice hello, how are you en espanol. Abran los libros a pagina seis." The clase, except for Veronica, blinked.

"I'm fine...thank you..." Orlando replied, guessing at what she said.

"For Christs sake, open your books to page six!" Ms. M exasperated. Everyone smiled and nodded as they turned to the right page. Burrito was still confused, so Antonio turned to the page for him.

Block One: British Lit.

2005-12-19T08:41:31Z

First chapter...*twitches with excitement*

This was written by KC.

"Holy shit. That's our new Lit teacher?" Kc gawked. She turned to look at her best friends Orlando and Dan. They were too busy staring dreamily at Mr. Law. Nudging her boyfriend Taylor, he snapped out of the daze he was in and whined.

"What?" Kc pointed at the teacher and raised an eyebrow. Taylors mouth pulled into a sly smile and he laughed.

"Welcome back everybody. As you may of noticed, I have taken over Mr. McKellans class due to his, um, bodily functions trouble," Mr. Law blushed.

"You mean how he always shit himself?" Scott asked. The class laughed.

"Yeah he'd shit himself everytime you walked in Scott." Orlando laughed. Nick sat in the back, confused of what was going on. Mr. Law walked over to where Scott and Orlando were sitting. Kc gasped when his hand touched her desk.

"I wanna lick it," she whispered to Taylor, who urged her not to.

"So you two must be the resident class clowns. It's good to meet you. I'm Jude and I'm fro...what the hell?" Mr. Law looked down to his hand, which was currently being licked by Kc. "What the hell are you doing?" Kc looked up to him in shock.

"Sorry. I, uh, thought it was my hand. Tastes good though." The class laughed again. Kc looked to Taylor and they both cracked up. "Jude" rolled his eyes and continued.

"So, who might you all be?" he looked pointedly at the five of them.

"I'm Orlando, but you can call me Orli," he purred, batting his eyelashes. Mr. Law widened his eyes a bit. Dan jabbed his elbow sharply into Orlandos ribs. "Ouch...oh, and this is my boyfriend Dan." Mr. Law backed up a little.

"I'm Kc and this is my boyfriend Taylor. I love your accent. Where are you from?"

"Oh, well, I'm from England..."

"Oh my god! Me too! That's by Sweden, right?" Mr. Law, and the class, all glared at Nick. Mr. Law shook his head and muttered something under his breath. Taylor turned to Nick.

"Dude, shut up or Mr. Law will think you're retarded or something."

"My mommy says that means I'm special. Mr. Claw seems special too. He's my friend, just like you Tynia!" Taylor punched Nick in the shoulder.

"Asshole! My name's Taylor and I'm not gay!" Taylor folded his arms and pouted. Kc, Orlando, and Dan snickered under their breath. Usher groaned and turned around.

"Will you retarded fuckers shut up? Go smoke some pot or something."

"We're special!" Nick screamed. Scott turned to Usher, pissed off.

"Fuck you man. You wanna go, bitch?" Scott growled, standing up. Usher jumped to his feet and pushed Scott. Britney screamed as Scott fell on top of her. She jumped back and hit Taylor.

"Ahh, slutty cooties! I'm contaminated!" Kc jumped over to Orlando and Dan, who had started making out. Jigga Dave started laughing uncontrollably. Nick began to cry and Veronica prayed to the Force that someone would die so she could go home. Kodee remarked how much this reminded her of an anime she liked. Justin stood up and tried to pick a fight with Taylor.

"What did you call my girl yo?" Taylor stared dreamily into Justins eyes.

"Nothing. Nothing at all." He was awoken from his daze when Kc jumped into his lap.

"Save me!" She screamed. Mr. Law was still in shock at the choas going on.

"I'M JUDE LAW AND I'M BRITISH AND I'M A VEGETARIAN! SO SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Jude commanded. Everyone froze and sat down immeadiately. Jude brushed the front of his jacket and composed himself. He smiled. "Thank you...Kc put that out. Moving on..." he was interrupted by Veronica.

"I'm vegan, so that's cool." Jude smiled at her. She blushed.

"Yeah, we are too." Dan pointed to himself and Orlando.

"I'm one too!" Kc exclaimed.

"But you eat meat." Dan chimed.

"I know."

"So you're not a vegan, man." Orlando stated.

"Yes I am." Kc retorted. Mr. Law shook his head.

'This will be a great year...' he thought to himself.

I hope you guys enjoyed this! Please leave any comments/concerns/death threats here!

Cast list

2005-12-19T08:05:19Z

*Updated 5/25/2007 by devil_does_cry and fredonica*
*Updated 8/15/2006 by fredonica*

Hey everybody! This is KC, otherwise known as devil_does_cry. I'd just like to say a few things and then we can get on with the story!

Back in 2003, my sister and I were watching "Fastimes @ Ridgemont High" and decided it would be pretty interesting if there was a high school comprised mainly of celebrities where wacky hijinks happened daily. After a couple of weeks, we finally sat down and begun work on a story that would later become the story here today. Yeah so that's crap for an intro but whatever.

Anywho, here's a complete cast list so you know who's who!

Students:

NEW ADDITIONS::
*Masi Oka (foreign exchange student)
*Adrian Pasdar (Political Science teacher)
*Zachary Quinto (Evil Janitor)
*Cillian Murphy (Um, I forgot his role...why do we have so many English/Scottish/Irish people at this school?)

KC (that's me...only I'm a huge stoner and I'm dating Taylor. It's my story, and I want it that way)

Veronica (pretty much herself...quiet, intelligent, loves all things designer)

Taylor Hanson (KC's boyfriend but is secretly gay and in love with Justin...)

Zac Hanson

Orlando Bloom (Gay, going out with Daniel Johns)

Daniel Johns (Pothead, gay, Orli's boyfriend)

Scott Moffatt (Pothead/alcoholic, awesome dude)

John Mayer (Total whore, awesome dude)

Drake Bell (Awesome dude, will do anything for money)

Nick Carter (resident dumb guy)

Justin Timberlake (resident hot guy)

Usher Raymond (resident black guy)

Britney Spears (resident slut)

Hayden Christensen (weird, sometimes cross dresses, has a weak bladder)

Kodee (original...as in she's also a real life person. Definitely annoying, story or not)

Jigga Dave (Dave Moffatt before the gayness, hates Scott)

Clint and Bob Moffatt (Always seen together. Frequently referred to as "Clint Bob")

Alex Band (Popular, wouldn't be caught dead wearing last season's Versace)

Dominic Monaghan

Elijah Wood

Jared Padalecki

Jensen Ackles

Tom Welling

Kristin Kreuk

Allison Mack

Sam Jones III

Hayden Panettiere (Captain of the Cheerleading Squad)

Milo Ventimiglia (pretty much like his character, Jess, on Gilmore Girls)

Chad Michael Murray (Jared's BFF)

Paris Hilton (Regina from "Mean Girls", for the most part)

Nicole Richie (Gretchen to Paris' Regina)

Staff:
Shakira Mebarak (Spanish teacher)

Ewan McGregor (Chemistry teacher)

Elton John (Secretary)

Marshall Mathers a.k.a. Eminem (Secretary)

Dr. Dre (School Nurse-in this story, he goes by NURSE Dre)

Lance Bass (Social Worker)

Michael Rosenbaum (Advanced Psychology)

Huggy Bear (Bus Driver...like his role in BSB's "Everybody" video except not creepy)

Jude Law (British Lit. teacher)

Howie Dorough (Basic Foods teacher-has students call him "Howie D", "Mr. Howie D", "Sweet D", etc.)

AJ McLean (FOCUS teacher)

Brian Littrell (Choir teacher)

Kevin Richardson (Special Ed teacher)

Mark Hamill (Principal)

Also featuring:
-STEVE HOLT
-Bam Margera
-Brian Molko
-Jake Gyllenhaal (Hayden's best friend)
-Avril Lavigne
-Lindsay Lohan
-Hilary Duff
-Christina Aguilera
-Omarion (uh the guy from B2K lol)
-Jessica Simpson

Now, for a kind of disclaimer:

We make fun of 99% of the celebrities in this story. It's done tastefully, but if you can't stand to see Nick Carter as a retard or AJ drink/use drugs, well then this isn't the story for you. Please leave and have a nice day!

NOTE: Frequently our updates will be courtesy of the Secretary's Desk and will be by Secretary Elton or Secretary Marshall.